Things I Won't Be Including in My Christmas Letter This Year

**My achievements in the art of making little foam ducklings out of styling mousse...
**How my kids got "discovered" when the director of a hit reality show was in town filming something strange at the neighbors'...
**How I got a red mark on my eyeball when a new pair of contacts refused to be removed...
**How that red mark bears an uncanny resemblance to Abe Lincoln...
**How the kids and I spotted a Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker--a bird that I thought was only a figment of Bugs Bunny's imagination...
**How I've finally trained the cat to give massages like that one in the Walgreen's commercial...
**How I won Yard of the Month for my artful planting of summer annuals spelling out "Jesus Loves You" in the flower beds...
**How mid-year I gave up doing laundry and have been successfully selling our dirty clothes on e-bay...
and last but not least:
**How Daisy is training for the Iditarod sled dog race...